In a nutshell...

Oh my!  2012 was one crazy, emotional roller coaster ride with a series of peaks and valleys...a year of fear, hope, faith, and of dreams coming true!

We started out the year with Ralph having chemo treatments in preparation of his second stem-cell transplant.  The transplant would only be scheduled when his counts were deemed to be as low as they could reach.  Each month, we held our breath hoping that the chemo was effective for him to receive his transplant before Michael's and Mallory's weddings.  Then the reality came that he might have to miss one or the other or both.  With God's grace, Ralph received his transplant in between both weddings and danced at both!

Michael and Erin were married on June 30th.  The ceremony took place at her aunt's family's winery, and the reception was on her family's farm in central PA.  The event was picture perfect!  The rolling hills of PA set the scene, and every detail was exactly the way that they envisioned.  Friends and family traveled, and fun was had by all!  They honeymooned in Hawaii.  Michael has just accepted a new corporate accounting job, and he and Erin have begun considering buying another or building a new house.

Megan and Nathan have committed to a new town home, being built, in Bridgeville.  They hope to move in by August.  They may need to stay with us after the home that they sold closes.  Megan continues to thrive, with her State Farm Insurance office, in McMurray.  She keeps herself extra busy with community events, committees, and helping to coach a dance team in Peters Township.

Mallory and Eric were married on September 8th, at Lingrow Farm, in Leechburg, PA.  She imagined a barn with twinkle lights, and that's exactly what she found!  Again, friends and family traveled to celebrate and dance the night away.  They plan to honeymoon next summer.  Mallory graduated from Pitt last spring and is a speech therapist in the McGuffey School District.  They are committed to building a house in Kennedy Township.

I transferred to the middle school, this year, and love my new position in eighth grade pre-algebra and physical science as an Inclusion teacher.  I kept myself busy all summer.  As if preparing for and planning Mallory's bridal shower, in our yard, wasn't enough, I also planned and supervised the retirement resort that we are building on the rear of our property.  At least 35 trees were cleared to make room for a pool and amenities.  We hope to be complete by May.  Ralph and I are pretty excited to be able to relax and entertain and refuel without leaving home!   We also remodeled our bathroom to create a zen retreat.  It's been a joy to watch dreams become realities...we are blessed!

The girls and I are planning a short trip to NYC for a show and shopping between Christmas and New Year's.  In June, we plan to travel to Mexico for a family vacation!  Ralph and I continue to live life to the fullest!  We take nothing for granted.  Our faith is strong, and we live with hope!  We count our blessings and have rearranged our priorities.

Together, Ralph and I wish you all the joys that life can bring!  We wish you good health and safety!  We wish you peace of mind, the love of family, true friendship, and laughter with each new day!

 Merry Christmas!  Happy New Year!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

 

Four months later, we are blessed to have had our family gather, on the Sunday before the Thursday Thanksgiving, to count our blessings!  We filled our bellies and our hearts!

 

Ralph has achy bones, but otherwise,



 he feels pretty good. His hair and his sass is back, and he plans to go hunting. He works part-time and plays an occasional game of golf.

 

We look forward to another Christmas surrounded by family and friends!

 

 

NINE MONTHS...umbrellas down...storm has passed

Ralph saw his oncology hemotolagist on Tuesday...All looks good... Still needs to be careful... Wash hands... Stay away from fresh fruit and veggies for another six weeks... Start to exercise at home...resume life as he feels able.

As for me, I am putting struggles behind and allowing God to totally take the wheel. Ralph knows what he needs to do to strengthen and support his healthy cells. Yes, there is always a dark cloud overhead, but I refuse to walk around holding an umbrella waiting for it to storm again! Your prayers and support, friends and family, have strengthened me and made me courageous. I will face my fears when my obstacles cannot be stepped over, stepped around, or stepped through. Until then, I am going to live, laugh, and dance myself silly!

On the days when I kick and scream, I will remember your kind and supportive words. With your words and caring and prayers and the grace of God, I will find more strength for the next day. My attitude will change to accommodate those things that I cannot

change. I will be more courageous to face my fears. I will know that I am not alone. So, when inspiration is found from my words or strength or attitude, it is because of you...we have gone full circle ...we are all blessed!

May God bless each of you with good health and many reasons to LAugH! Celebrate life every day!

Labwork Looks Good...

Ralph's blood work showed counts high enough for him not to be considered neutropenic.  He is still going to be cautious until after his hematology oncology appointment on the 31st. 

When running errands, Ralph has been wearing his mask and riding along.  He stays in the car, but it is obvious that the energy that he exerts for that exhausts him.   His appetite is pretty good, and he is very thirsty.  He is also making an effort to drink a lot to flush his body from chemo. 

He attempts some paperwork.  Phone calls and short visits, when he can sit outside, are welcome. 

Your cards, messages, caring, and prayers lift us.  Thank you!

14 days later...

Ralph's white cell count was high enough (4) to come home!  As scary as it is for me, he is thrilled to be in his own bed.  His home comments included, "We have a nice yard" and "you don't know how good my bed feels".  Well, I have an idea about both since I tried to create a clean comfortable bed and a picturesque yard.  However, I hope that I never have to gain the appreciation that Ralph has for either.

He spent most of the first evening in his room.  He did come downstairs to eat and took the dogs out.  He walked through the yard then back to his room. 

He is still a little anxious and gets confused unless he focuses on one thing at a time.  I am trying to get him to focus on staying germ free and forget the rest.  He plans to greet visitors next week...outside only.  Hopefully, that works out for him.

Your cards and well wishes and calls and prayers give us strength and courage.  Thank you!  We plan to have a break from thinking about Multiple Myeloma for awhile.  We plan to try a carefree look on life! 

Faith is not simply a patience that passively suffers until the storm is past. Rather, it is a spirit that bears things - with resignations, yes, but above all, with blazing, serene hope.

Through the grace of God, there have been no surprises.  Ralph is weathering this storm with little resistance.  He allows medications that comfort him, he walks as much as he can, he remains polite and cordial to the staff, and sleeps a lot.  He told his neighbor that he is leaving on the 26th (17 days as a hostage). 

We look forward to significant evidence of him gaining strength.  Again, thank you for the cards, well wishes, inquiries, thoughts, and prayers.

Will Get Worse Before It Gets Better.

This is definitely not an easy trek, but there have been no surprises.  Ralph is experiencing exactly what is expected, and the worse is yet to come.  His appetite is, basically, nonexistent...ginger-ale and wedding soup are okay. He gets restless and uncomfortable then will sleep soundly.  He is required to walk and is still willing. As long as he keeps drinking, he will not have an IV.

He, continuously, invites the medical staff, to our house next summer, for swimming and steaks...they have agreed :)

Ralph really appreciates all the messages that have been sent...I report each :)  Thank you for your continued prayers!

Patience is a virtue...another birth day...it is called!

The day, that we have waited for since November 2011, is here!  Ralph has endured months of chemo and the effects.  The ride has been a roller coaster of physical, mental, and emotional stress!  We gained strength from our faith and the prayers and well wishes of friends and family!

In the past two days, he has received a year's worth of chemo to, hopefully, kill any trace of mutiple myeloma cells.  (Unfortunately, it also depletes the body of good cells, but he has tolerated that just as well.)  He is nauseous, but there is great medicine to give enough relief for him to relax and rest.  He is weak.  He is quiet.  Today, all medical staff wore gloves and cover-ups when entering the room. More machines are present. The staff's enthusiasm for the ability to have a sct is evident...a celebration!

At 10:24, his nurse began to hook up the machines to Ralph.  At 10:28 the cells were wheeled in in a small freezer.  The 15 minute protocal was very official and the frozen cells were guarded by 3 nurses who checked and rechecked and checked again that he received his cells. (My stomach ached as I feared something freakish happening to those cells before they got into Ralph's system.  I held my breath.) 

REJOICE!  After giving him a mint so that he wouldn't taste, at 10:39 Ralph received his own healthy stem cells that he harvested in 2009.  It only took 9 minutes to return the cells, through an IV, into his body.  They find their way back from where they came.  Those 25 minutes were very emotional...so much hope being poured into his system...life...a miracle!  (Not knowing why, but I always think of the Green Mile when I reflect on witnessing this procedure.  In that movie, the character sucks the illness out and releases it into the air.  In Ralph's case, all the good cells are released into his body.)

Before he gets better, he will feel much worse.  The cells will start to regenerate, in his bone marrow, immediately but will not be evident for 10 days.

Praise the Lord for the miracles we witness in the name of medical marvels!  Doctors, nurses, researchers, biochemists...you have been blessed...thank you for sharing your gifts!

The time is now...

Last weekend, we had a great time at Erin's and Michael's wedding!  We feel blessed that friends and family traveled to share our celebration.  We laughed, we drank, we ate, we danced, and we have lifetime memories! 

Ralph's tests are complete, and he is going to be admitted for transplant on Monday.  We have the courage to face our fears and the faith to believe that we will be standing at the end of this hospital trek.

Over the next few days, Ralph is going to hit a few golf balls, do a little this 'n that, and dance the night away, on Saturday, at our dear friends' daughter's wedding!

Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers.  God bless!

Logistically...it all looks good!

Ralph will begin tests for his transplant next week.  The last round of chemo had no effect that decreased his levels (remained the same), so it is time for transplant.  He will be at Michael's and Erin's wedding...will go to transplant on the Tuesday or Wednesday after...spend up to 30 days (last time it was 17) at Shadyside...recuperate for about a month at home...walk Mallory down the aisle in September.  Sounds like a plan :)

He is ready to get this done...it has been a long, roller coaster ride while waiting.  Please continue to keep us in your prayers as that is what we need most.

Out of fuel...

Ralph has had 3 rounds of chemo.  Today, one week after finishing his 3rd round, he was admitted to the hospital because his red blood count, white blood count, and platelet counts were dangerously low.  He will receive blood and platelets and spend the night.  He was suspicious that things were not right, as he had a very difficult time catching his breath and just didn’t feel right.  He should feel much better after the transfusions.  We are still waiting on the results of the 3rd chemo treatment.  Thank you for your prayers, thoughts, and kindness! God bless you!

Save me a dance...

Ralph is responding well to the chemo. Thus, he will have a third round, this weekend, and should be well enough to be on the dance floor at Michael's and Erin's wedding! When he no longer responds, he will go to transplant. This is good news, as we were very concerned that he might miss the wedding...the thought was breaking my heart. God is good...He obviously wants us to embarrass our children, one more time, with our awesome dance moves!

100 reasons to CRY...1000 reasons to SMILE...

So many, out of concern, ask how Ralph is doing.  So many pray for all of us.  Bottom line...he is sick...he has cancer.  His bones ache, he has less energy or stamina, and is scared.  With that, we are members of a club that we did not want to join, yet the dues is great! 

A grey cloud follows us and will for the rest of his life.  We have learned to live this roller coaster ride.  We make no plans that are too far in the future.  We live day-to-day...sometimes moment-to-moment.  We are constantly holding our breath. We get angry...we cry...we feel lost.  Feelings are unpredictable.

HOWEVER, through the grey cloud, there are MANY more breaks of sunshine...reasons to laugh, to forget, to enjoy! These moments are much appreciated and keep us sane.  He dresses and leaves the house every day.  I am able to work and enjoy the support of friends.  WE HAVE 3 HEALTHY CHILDREN.  God has blessed us immensely!

Hare today...goon tomorrow...little bunny foo-foo

Poof....it's gone!  Ralph has lost his hair and gained weight!  The steroids and chemo were less than kind.  He did receive 2 units of blood, on Monday night, and one unit of platelets.  His energy level and breathing improved a lot.  Today, he has more blood work...maybe more blood and platelets.  On May 14th, he will have blood work to determine the effect of the chemo.  He will meet with his doctor, at Hillman, on the 21st.  That meeting will determine the next step...transplant or more chemo.

OH, The Ride We're on...

Ralph managed another round of chemo with the same effects as the last one. He was in the hospital for 4 days. Michael, Erin, Eric, and Mallory took turns at his bedside while I worked and Megan and Nathan enjoyed a, well deserved, cruise that she earned during her first year as a State Farm Agent. After Mallory graduated, from Pitt, with her master's degree in Speech and Language Pathology, on April 28th, I brought Ralph home. He, basically, slept for 3 days. On Wednesday, he found the energy to leave the house. Each day, he finds more strength (and sass). His platelet count was adequate, on May 3rd...we will see what Monday brings. He keeps busy telling landscapers and the dogs what to do...among others, I'm sure :) For the first time, ever, he has planned a picnic, with our children, and I am to "just show up". That is A-O-K with me! As always, please keep us in your prayers. We have a long road ahead...the ride can make us nauseous. We live in a holding-our-breath state...but we live...we laugh...we make memories...we are hopeful...and we are grateful!

Life is not meant to be run as a marathon. It is to be a series of sprints. The idea is to be standing at the end.

The children and I are doing a fine job of running a relay...taking turns at caregiving. We have certainly proven that we are a family. Ralph and I could not be more proud and pleased. Our children are our strength...the wind beneath our wings!

On this Tuesday, one day after the 40th anniversary of Ralph and I meeting at Route 19 Bowling, Ralph will be admitted to Shadyside for a second 24/4 chemo cocktail. This will be the same as the one in March. It is, apparently, not uncommon to receive this, a second time, with better results. From what I understand, he will receive this type of treatment until the Myeloma no longer responds or until his counts are VERY low to nondetectable. AND, if this is not enough to transplant, there is PLAN C...

Between treatments, we are enjoying life by planning weddings, showers, rehearsal dinners, and graduations. We enjoy times with friends and the kids. Do we have down days? YES, but we seem to be able to bounce back quickly. This is God's plan, and we hope to appear graceful, poised, thankful, blessed, hopeful, and faithful.

Thank you for your continued support through prayers, thoughts, kind words, inspiration, and unselfish gestures. Those keep our spirits lifted! May you each be blessed with good health, true friends, and peace of mind!

HoPpY EASTER!

Ralph is rebounding from the effects of a week long chemo treat! Last Sunday, he did receive a booster shot to help his white blood cells. He needed platelets 6 days after coming home. This is not a surprise. He is not to be in large crowds or in enclosed places such as restaurants, stores, etc. His immune system needs to build up again. Fortunately, the kids are coming over this afternoon for a "POT LUCK" Easter feast. We will be able to open doors and windows and will have enough room to limit his contact with our germs. Being that he is used to our germs, our presence is not as big of a risk. He has a bone marrow biopsy on the 16th...please pray that his Myeloma is undetectable so that he can have his stem cell transplant to get on the DAnCE floor for Michael's and Erin's wedding at the end of June.

Easter blessings to you and yours! Spring gives us hope and hope promotes our faith and both are in the name of love!

ONE WEEK LATER...

After one week of intense chemo therapy, Ralph is home. He received 4 bags of a concoction that we call PLAN B. 3 of the chemos, he had never received. Hopefully, the Myeloma cells were not pleased and his counts are significantly lower. The reason for hospitalization was the close monitoring that needed to be done. His kidneys and blood sugar were at risk. Insulin was needed, but his kidneys seemed to weather well. He is tired and weak and his taste buds are not behaving. He is to resume normal activity when he can. He is pretty tired and weak. Hopefully, this is the answer...time will tell! We hope to know in 2 weeks :)

Thankfully, I was able to work the entire time. Mallory and Megan took turns, bedside, as they live in Pittsburgh. Michael is working in Colorado, for a few weeks, so we counted on his constant prayer. Ralph's brother and our very good friend, Jim, brought him home so that the girls and I could enjoy a dinner and play with friends. Blessings galore!

Friends and family, your continued prayers are greatly appreciated. We have our down moments, but when I reflect, we have more moments smiling! God and our children are our strength and your prayers sustain that strength! Bless you!

not a set-back; another path

According to the doctor, this is NOT a set-back but another path. Ralph did not respond as had hoped for this month's stem cell transplant plan. The chemo concoction he had taken last time, apparently, was not as effective this time. It cut his numbers in half, but that is NOT enough. He will be in the hospital all next week getting another type of chemo potion, 24/7, for 5 days. The doctor thinks that his hair will fall out with this and he will be nauseous. When his numbers are as low as the doctors want them to be, he will get the transplant... Please pray for low numbers really quickly!

We are disappointed and sad and tired and feel beaten-up. WE ARE HOPEFUL AND NOT DEFEATED! We will bounce back and fight with the vengenge that we have had before...just give us time. Over Easter, we are taking a stay-cation, at home,to rest and refresh and refuel! Our plate is full and we need to find the strength to swallow!

Thank you for all of your support and prayers. In time, this ordeal will be behind us, and we will dAnCE and spread cheer!

SET BACK...

When Ralph's Myeloma level was considered aggressive, his bone marrow biopsy revealed his levels at 80%. After 4 rounds of chemo, his levels are between 5 and 8%. It is determined that the treatment was effective. Hillman wants him to do another round of chemo to get his level as low as possible, since he is responding well. However, he has pneumonia, so that treatment will need to wait. He is taking antibiotics and there is no reason to think that he will not recover. Keep praying, please...we have dances to do! Thank you for your caring and support!

Still hanging in there...

Ralph is nearly done with his chemo treatments! He is especially tired, pretty swollen from the steroids, and has the rosiest of cheeks. He still manages to dress, go to the office, and do a little bit of work every day! We do our best to push through each day behaving as normally as possible. We know our blessings and are extremely thankful! There is not a formal date for the transplant but are still anticipating March. Please continue to keep us in your prayers. Please continue to understand on those days when we do not have a stiff upper lip; when we do not look graceful and poised; when we are throwing poop! Thank you friends and family for your continued support of thoughts and prayers!